Stop, Whoa! Are you sure you want to hear this? You want to anyway, huh? It's about this guy, you see? He treats me miserably... had one of my cousins before me... But I'm getting ahead of myself. I cover a lot for that guy, you know...keep his precious Wayfarer clean and looking like new. I make sure the occasional thief doesn't see what's interesting... What?! Yeah, my whole family's in the protection business. But this guy. I tell you - no appreciation! When I see how others get treated... look... look behind you, not six feet from me... that guy looks after his stuff... everything tied down properly... no puddle ever sits on her!
Who am I? I'm his boat cover! Yeah, just once I want to be put on properly - with the boom secured so it doesn't fall into the boat and I have to carry a ton of water. And the boat needs to be balanced so that the rain runs off quickly – all of it! Maybe raise the boom a little higher at the stern? That would help. You know what else? Don't park me under a tree. The longer I'm wet, the sooner I'll die on you. When you see little black spots on me, that's the beginning of my end.
It's the old story - mildew and fungi! I'm made of cotton, and those are my enemies. He could clean me, and spray me with silicone tent spray every two years – you know, Canadian Tire stuff from mast to stern. It would go a long way towards wearing me out evenly.
But I'd better stop bending your ear. Thanks for listening. Oh... if you see my owner, pass on the tips, will you? Maybe it's not too late!
| Hans Gottschling |  |
938 | ||